Advice for ‘The Chaser’

If you’ve read about ‘The Chaser’ and figured that its you, here is some advice…

Know that your partner WILL Return…
With all that you are going through, knowing that the runner will return is enough to ease half the pain.
Twinflames are ever connected by the eternal sacred bond that never breaks.
They are literally created to be with each other. Nothing can take them away from each other.

Understand that your partner will come back once they are ready for the intensity of this relationship.

Let them take their time, pushing or chasing is not of much use.

Avoid ‘Chasing’ him/her
The runner runs because they are afraid of the intensity of the relationship at some level.
Chasing him/her at this point only makes them run more.
Give them some time, and know that they will come when they are ready.

Know that the universe in helping you
Being in the ‘Chaser’ position can be hard. You might feel lonely and helpless. DONT.

The universe plays its magic in bringing twinflames together.
Know that you are supported by all divine beings in someway… whether you know it or not.
Doing too much at a human level is not required to get your twinflame back… just remain calm and you’ll see that everything takes care of itself (it might take some time, but trust me it will happen… just be patient)

Believe In Yourself
During this phase, there is often a lot of confusion.
Your mind does not agree with what your hear tells you… And If you try sharing it with someone else they will probably tell you you’ve simply ‘lost it’… These people usually are not aware of this deep spiritual reality and give you ‘practical’ advice which doesn’t work for a twinflame relationship…
Understand that what is happening to you is not unusual… and you are perfectly all right.
Just Believe in yourself and follow your heart… and everything will be okay 🙂

Understand spirituality
The more you understand the spiritual reality, the more sense everything will start to make.
The relationship between Twinflames is basically spiritual… You’ll understand whats going on in the relationship the more you explore spirituality… This is not something that is necessary… but I believe it helps allot.
And If you’re comfortable with it, use the Violet Flame to balance your karma… this (or any other meditation) also helps calm the mind which is required during this confusing and difficult phase.

If you’re going through the ‘Waiting Time’, Read advice on that ‘HERE’


Posted on October 2, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 44 Comments.

  1. Don’t mean to be negative, but I picked up on the fact that,you said don’t worry the runner WILL return!
    But you also stated that you are still waiting for yours to return,so how can you say this when you are still waiting?
    Like I said not being negative, just curious.
    Myself is going through bad times because,I met my other half last year, it was the best thing that ever happened to me, and yes she ran for her life even though our relationship was faultless and so loving!
    I do know also that she was scared because of a unpleasant past, which is why she’s running, to her it’s the easiest option rather than to once and for all face up to her fears from the past!
    Don’t get me wrong what she’s been trough is not nice and not easy for her to finally face upto,but pretending she’s ok with what’s happened rather than truthfully dealing with her probs from past. All she’s doing is running/returning to all the bad habits that to her is appently helping her,but in reality theyre not.

    • Twinflames, as stated in the articles, are two parts of the same soul or being. In the end, they have to come together… because thats where they truly belong… with each other!
      You’re right, I’m still waiting for mine… but I also know of twinflames who have reunited… and they all have been through this typical ‘twinflame stuff’.
      I say that twinflames return based on the knowledge that I’ve gathered on the topic in the last few years… and more than anything else, theres this compelling strong feeling that tells me nothing can keep up apart for long 🙂

      And then there is this thing called ‘divine timing’… everything happens when it is meant to… sometimes the beast that we can do is to just hang in there!

      If she is your Twinflame, she will return… give her some time and just trust the universe!

  2. Mine ran for years, came back and is running again. It’s a cycle that will keep repeating itself until both are spiritually aware of what’s going on AND both (like the articles here say) listen to their heart and NOT their head. If they start to listen to their heart they will be back even sooner. But that ego always has to rear it’s ugly head…Oh, so hard for the chaser or stayer which is what I call myself. In my case, I am listening to my heart and he is listening to his head and that = conflict/confusion/running/chasing 😦

      • Yes I must agree–It IS a lesson about Faith, Trust and Love! May the Universe brings us all together in its due season so that we can bring light into the spiritual darkness of our times. 🙂

    • I just entered my waiting phase. He’s my best friend and we met while in law school together, he was dating a mutual friend and i was doing my thing. It seemed like the universe was pushing me towards him. Everybody that we met, always said, why aren’t you guys together, you should be together..etc. We’ve been best friends for three years, and then this last year, when i saw how the universe was pushing me towards him, i gave into my feelings and decided to go with the flow. His relationship ended last year around this time. We’ve been going slow because I’m not sure what to do, i don’t want to be a rebound and put my friendship on the line. We’ve been in this limbo for quite some time now. He’s lost, confused, doesn’t know if its his feelings for me or just physical relationship. But i know what type of person he is, and he would never put my friendship on the line for just the physical aspect of it. We ended for the last few months, sleeping together, cuddling together…but never took it to sex, because i chose to become celibate last year. But the kissing, the cuddling, the looks, the way he knows how feel without me saying it, and me knowing what he feels. I started searching for an answer for my feelings a few months back and found out what twin flames were. In my heart, i feel like this is my situation. But i don’t know. Ever since i was a little girl, i just knew that there was someone here for me, my soul mate, that he’s here, been searching for him. When i saw him, i felt something so weird, and i still remember the first time i saw him, but i never again thought anything of it. Then we ended up getting a job together at the same place…we worked eighteen hours together a day…I’m a lawyer and so is he. But we never once argued even when tension was high. People have tried to make us argue with work tension, but we just won’t do it. It’s a dog eat dog world in the world of associates, people are always trying to make themselves look better, but we decided if one fell, the other would bring them up, that we would never let that get between us, and we didn’t. Then one by one all of our friends left..we started spending more and more time with each other, and eventually found each other in our arms. But then he stopped, all of a sudden…and says he can’t see me in any other light. I told him then i need space to be apart, so i can get over whatever feelings i have for him..i didn’t speak to him for a month, he hit me up daily asking for forgiveness and that he doesn’t want to lose the beautiful friendship that we have. I gave in and said, fine then we’ll just be platonic friends…that didn’t go far. the next time we spent time alone, he was kissing me all over again, and we were back there again. We never got into a full fledged relationship because of his confusion, but we never dated anyone else either. Now, it’s back to separation. Because we are such good friends and our lives are so intertwined, i told him, we’d go out this one last time with everybody. He’s not one to get drunk, but that night, that was supposed to be our last night together, he was drinking, more than me. I just knew and sensed it was because of us. Somehow, i ended up back in his bed that night..but then it’s back to the same, i can’t differentiate you from a friend he says, but the thought of me not being his life kills him. So today, i finally said, i’m starting to feel like you feel like you’re forced to be with me, i don’t want you to be forced to be with me and so i said, the only logical thing is for us to separate, to find out whether you feel for me as just a friend or if it’s just all in my head and i’m just infatuated with you. But it can’t be just in my head, i know what i felt. I can’t lie to you, i’ve never felt like the universe was pushing me towards anyone before other than him. I’m just so confused and so hurt. Does this sound to you like a twin flame relationship or does this sound like a one-sided love affair? I’m just so confused.

      • It does sound like a twinflame relationship… but only your heart knows the truth!

      • if you still keep track of this post, know that you are not the only one experiencing this very same thing. we started off just a few month ago. full on, only for him to tell me just a few weeks later he had no feelings for me 🙂 really? 🙂 and he is pulling back bc of his lack of feelings….advice I don’t have to give, but if you are still around, maybe you can share what you experienced in the past one year.

      • Oh dear, where do i start? LOL. Well, we’re not together. He’s dating someone else, and has been for almost another year. But to back up a bit, last march he found out his dad had three months to live due to liver cancer. I’ve never been close to his family but that incident brought me very close to his family, especially his mother. He lost his father two months later, and of course I was there for him, even though i was mad, when i found out about his father, i had to put my feelings to the side and just be there for him. His mom and I are very close, to the point where she calls me her daughter. Although, his girlfriend and mom are not close. At this point, it’s a waiting game for me. No matter how hard i try, i can’t lose these feelings for him. He doesn’t bring up his girlfriend with me, don’t know why, but he doesn’t unless he has to. I am still the one he calls when he’s going through a tough time. We do not speak everyday but there is a connection between us that it doesn’t matter. The one thing that blows my mind is, if you truly didn’t feel something for someone, you do everything in your power to get them to get over you…at least i would, men are different i guess. He has tried over and over again to seek my forgiveness and has gone over and beyond to make sure our friendship is still what it used to be.

        The only bit of advice that i have for you, and what i told my best friend who happens to be going through something similar is, be patient, and sit and watch. Those moments where you feel like you are losing this person for ever, are nothing but fear based. If this is a twin flame relationship, they aren’t going anywhere. Somehow, some way, life will always find a way to keep you connected, even if they have a relationship with someone else, or even if you are finally like fuck it, and start a relationship with someone else, or distance, doesn’t matter. Until the right time comes, they will stay in your life in one form or another. I’m still, i guess, waiting but not really. I am open to dating someone else, but i’m still not open to giving someone else my heart, because i feel like it’s been spoken for. It’s not emotionally healthy, but it is something that you do not have power over. I’ve gotten to the point where i have said, maybe he’s not the one, but the few times when the connection is highlighted, it is truly highlighted and you just know in your heart that this is it. The other thing with twin flames is, that it might not be this life time, which is something that you have to come to terms with, because this is bigger than us, and our selfish need for love. It’s about looking in the mirror and seeing everything you hate about yourself highlighted thirty times over and seeing everything you love about yourself being thirty times over highlighted. It’s a process to help both of you shed the karma between you guys to be able to be with each other. I mean the things that you say you will never do, be careful, because your twin flame will prove you wrong. You will do a lot of things that you judged others for, it forces you to see life in a different way. It forces you to look in the mirror and love who you see, whether good or bad, it forces you to acknowledge your existence. You can’t let pride get in the way, because then you are fighting it. You have to learn to take the high road, even if that means, not having that person in your life for awhile. Hope this helps.

  3. Leeanne Pokere

    Without finding your pictures 1st on facebook then being led to your website, I truly would of thought I was going mad! THANK YOU very much for your Taonga (gift) of understanding at my Diving Timing moment. all of the above information in spot on for me & my Twin Flame. The only reason we met was a spiritual diving timing moment when each one of us was emanating at our highest frequency, just for that moment in time, we attracted each other like magnets, complete opposites in all ways. many roads walked, many battles over come, still a way to go, however far more confident after the Universe gifting me with your energy. Much Peace, Joy, Love & Harmony to you.

  4. If this is twin flame relationship that I am in….it has changed my life forever….never felt this depth of emotion before in my life. Seperation sometimes is bearable. Any other relationship I would have moved on. However, this one I have (without intent) showed my raw hurt emotions. I know this person means a lot to me.

  5. I had heard of soul mates before but not twin flames.we spent some time together and the connection was magical. I felt like I had “gone home” when he held me close to him. His kiss was the most intense and passionate embrace I have ever had that it sent shockwaves through my body. I was literally on fire. It stirred up something in me and then he rejected me straight after. I felt devastated. I cried deep within me the pain was unbearable. I wanted to die…I know how dramatic that sounds but I felt my soul crack and then he ran away to scotland.At the time I was able to connect with him telepathically he told me he would only be gone a short while. I felt him besides me in bed and smelt him there with me and then there was a disconnection. I knew he had gone further away but I always believed he would be back he made a promise to me with his mind he would reconnect on the 6th November this year and he did. It was like the scene from an affair to remember, but this was in a church. He is back but not back…he hasnt been in touch it has been 3 weeks since I last saw him. I read the confusion in his eyes, he thought that the connection would have gone after months of not seeing me…it hasnt and it never will. I love him beyond all comprehension, beyond time and words…I tried to date someone else but my heart and soul werent in it. I really cannot see anyone for me if he doesnt find me in his heart. I so want him to wake up and recognise me as I have him.My intuition says he will come back and I even said, “we will marry just wait and see” with confidence. Even my shamanic meditations have shown union. And, yet I still have those doubts maybe it is the lower frequency that is around us that makes our intuitive states fuzzy? Everyday I think shall I tell him how I feel and my higher self stops me it says be patient let him find you leave him be for now oh but what a struggle…hearing your stories and how your feeling helps me to recognise I am not alone…I just hope that each and everyone of us reunites with our tf the earth is in desperate need of this level of love…

    • Iam going through the same experience mandy. Have stopped chasing but still feel his physical pain and all his emotions and smell him around me. I too cannot think of dating anyone else for it actually brings me physical pain in my body if I even think to. Its like something is physically stopping me from moving on and dating others, whereas in terms of living life, its fine. If you wanna talk more. My email is

  6. I’m at this very moment in a very difficult time. A week ago I decided to part ways with whom I believe to be my Twin Flame. We’ve been going back and forth over and over again for two years, in a long distance relationship. Last year he confessed to me he had met another girl and was dating her, he still is. But he also confessed he was with her out of the necessity of not being alone, and because it is an easy and comfortable relationship. And yet, he wouldn’t let me go. We broke contact many times and still got back to each other.
    However, after many failed attempts to meet, I decided to leave him for “good” because I could no longer stand being in second place to another woman whom he claimed not to love. Still, he wouldn’t risk anything for me even when he said many times he didn’t want to lose me and the only thought of me not being in his life hurt more than anything. I’m now trying to continue with my life, but I find it incredibly difficult to stand the absence, when I still feel him in the back of my mind and in my heart. He’s like a constant presence, always there. I know he’s taken our separation very badly, and I’m still going to wait for him because deep down I know he’ll return. I just don’t like being consumed by the fear I have of him not ever showing up again in my life. I want to continue with my life and be able to live it, with or without him.
    Is there anything you guys think I could do to make the pain a little bit more bearable?

    • Dear Morrighan,
      Seems like we are in a similar situation. I met the man I believe to be my T.S. 3 years ago. It was like “love at first sight”, so intense.. Then I experienced an awakening, I had premonitions about him… 1500 km’s separate us and in our situation we can’t really solve it. We are both in relationships now because we don’t wanna be alone… (it’s kind of easier to handle things like this, less thinking of each other, relative less missing…) But we can’t let each other go. Right from the beginning it’s been a circle of: intense feelings –> admission –> breaking contact, and then it started all over again.. We also had many attempts to meet, failed every time…
      “I could no longer stand being in second place to another woman whom he claimed not to love. Still, he wouldn’t risk anything for me even when he said many times he didn’t want to lose me and the only thought of me not being in his life hurt more than anything.” –> exactly the same here. Sometimes I get really confused by this. Now I feel like I’d be willing to risk for him… But when I was in that situation (he was single, I had a bf) I was also afraid to risk… Everything was so vague… Still is, actually. Really confusing.
      How is your life going? Is it any better? I’m really curious!

  7. It’s interesting to see how many people from all over the world visiting this site. I wonder are you guys are all chasers? Are your twinflames living in or was born in other countries? states? cities?
    Anyways, regardless of what happens I am closer to God than I have ever been. This twinflame relationship has made a believer out of me.

    • “I am closer to god than i have ever been.” Amen my friend. That’s exactly how i feel, it made me a better person and forced me to love my flaws and everything great about me. I completely agree with you. Good luck on your journey. 🙂

      • Niti, your comments are one the wisest I have had the opportunity to read so far on the subject. Bless you! I am with you all the way…!

  8. Love is miracle and everything!
    Your Twinflame is helping to you for learning to love?
    Believe in Love!
    Think about Love!
    Choose to love everything!
    You can see your twinflame in you!
    Key is Love!
    Use it how much you can!

  9. I met the man that I believe to be my twinflame 5 years ago. We ended up in the same support group when both of our 18-year marriages ended. I liked him instantly, felt comfortable with him, thought he was a great guy……easy to talk to and decent……but there was no “love at first sight”. We always liked and respected each other very much.

    We were friends for about a year and a half, when I started to notice an interest from him in a “more than friends” kind of way…….although it was very subtle. I had always found him attractive, but never thought he would be interested in me so had not allowed myself to think of him that way. I continued to watch for more signals from him which kept coming and I started to reciprocate signals back to him. This went on for about 8 months and things became awkward between us. Then we shared a special moment which I call “a moment of truth” where he revealed his feelings to me…….not in words…….but with a lingering look, which I returned……and then we had a long, meaningful hug. This all happened in front of our support group, so it really wasn’t a private moment, but still a moment.

    I thought that at that point we would start seeing each other, but instead he became distant and a few months later was seeing someone else. I was somewhat hurt when I found that out, but somewhere deep inside, I knew……I just knew he would be back and things were not over between us…….I just could not get past the special moment we had shared. His relationship became a one and a half year relationship, which ended last January. In all that time, with very little contact between us (we didn’t see each other for about a year) I was not able to forget about him and move on……no matter how hard I tried, and I did. I just could not get him off my mind and out of my heart.

    Then last December (2012) I saw him for the first time in almost a year at a gathering with our support group…….and I could still feel the connection between us. “She” was not present, but he assured us that they were still together. A few weeks later, he sent me a message telling me that his relationship was messed up, and then they broke up in January (2013).

    I have seen him a handful of times over the past year and our connection is still evident. I had a spiritual awakening in the summer when I recognized him as my soulmate/twinflame. I have been giving him time to heal and waiting for him to approach me when he is ready. I am still waiting. This has been over 3 years now since I first noticed his interest and I continue to give him time and space, but it is sooooo hard being patient for this long, especially when I’m getting nothing from him. All I can do now is continue to work on my healing and spiritual growth, which in turn will help him to do the same because of our connection.

    Sorry for the lengthy post, but I just wanted to share my experience. Now I understand about the back and forth, the separations, but we have never even talked about/admitted our feelings or had any physical contact other than hugs…….but I know we both know of the connection intuitively…….and he is already running, but we remain friends with minimal contact. So my question to all of you is……Is that unusual? or do they sometimes do the running before you even enter a relationship with them?

    Thanks for listening and my wish is for all of us to be reunited with our TFs permanently!!!

    Best Wishes and love to all!!!!

  10. Call him??? Was this intended for me, Allen? Why call him?

  11. Yep. You have to communicate and negotiate.
    (1) You say you’re waiting on him, but if both of you are single, then maybe it is your fear that is preventing you two being together. ‘This has been over 3 years now since I first noticed his interest and I continue to give him time and space, but it is sooooo hard being patient for this long, especially when I’m getting nothing from him’. Um, stop. Imagine calling him up, how does it make you feel?
    (2) Men really don’t read into things with as much depth as women- ‘a lingering look’ does not a lot. Assume he’s not as au fait as you with non verbal communication and does not know how you feel. ‘A few weeks later, he sent me a message telling me that his relationship was messed up, and then they broke up in January (2013).’ In his way, he is hinting at what he wants without fully committing. ‘I’m available, coffee?’ Being rejected by your twin is haha! horrible to say the least. Of course he doesn’t want to put it all on the line. Either that, or he really just sees you as a good mate. Love to you TF in waiting.x

  12. Also, what ‘twin stuff’ have you experienced? Just curious.

    • Thanks for your replies, Allen. Are you a chaser or runner?

      Well I think we do mirror a lot of each others issues (e.g. fear, insecurity, shyness). I don’t think either of us are accustomed to being the pursuer. It scares the hell out of me to think of calling him up and putting myself out there, but the thing is…..I have been trying to maintain communication at least as friends, but he has grown very distant and doesn’t even put any effort into that, so I’m getting pretty sick and tired of it and have recently stopped initiating contact between us to see if he will notice or care. Interestingly enough…..he did comment on one of my Facebook posts last night, which he rarely, if ever does. I have tried a few times to approach him and try to get closer to him and open up a dialogue……once on FB chat, which we had never done before (he talked for about 10 mins. then said he had to get off the laptop)……yet, he never made any attempt to contact me back. Then, I saw him in December at a group gathering and I tried a few times to talk with him……he’d talk for a bit, but would always walk away, yet he has no problem talking to any of the other women for long periods, in fact, he loves female attention. So he seems skiddish even having contact with me for any length of time.

      When he emailed me that his relationship was messed up, I did offer to talk with him, but he did not take me up on it……just said “Thanks for the offer.” Then I got a little bold and said, “Let me know if you go back on the market” to which he replied, “Thanks, but not sure I ever should have been on the market in the first place.” So that’s why I have left it up to him.

      I’m not sure what you consider “twin stuff”, but there are sooooo many things that just fit the research that I’ve done on twinflames. I feel it in my heart and soul. I experienced a spiritual awakening in the summer when I recognized him as my soulmate/TF and that was after I started receiving signs about new love, romance, soulmates, etc. I believe I get a tingle in the tip of my nose when he is thinking about me. I see his name constantly, although it is a very common name. I see double, triple, quadruple digits constantly. Our first and last names have 7 letters each. There are similarities in our appearance. We are similar in some ways, but way at the opposite end of the scale on other things. There was the familiarity when I first met him. We met after a very turbulent time in our lives when both of our 18-year marriages ended……we were both cheated on. The fact that I just could not forget him during his other relationship no matter how hard I tried…….and the list just goes on.

      I am sure he feels the connection just as I do and does not consider me just a friend. We used to be so easy going when we were just friends. I felt so comfortable with him. Now things are so awkward. If he is my twinflame and the runner, it has to be up to him as to when he is ready to deal with our relationship. Either that, or we need to be locked in a room somewhere together where we will be forced to open up lol, and I would welcome that opportunity.

      Love and light!!

  13. Thank you for that! Honesty.
    Fine. I’ll share too!

    I was ‘the chaser’, although I do not believe there are two fixed roles. It suits the runner to label themselves as such, as it allows them to rationalise their behaviour and avoid facing their own insecurities. Probably don’t tell him about twins yet. I’ve stopped chasing for a long time (relatively speaking- some people do this stupid dance for years. My only advise is find a method that works for you and use it consistently.)

    He’s scurred! He’ll be stuck in his head and the horrible awkward emotions are shutting him down. He likes you!

    I don’t know if my ‘twin’ is my twin. There is literally nothing she can say to hurt me anymore. If there’s an insult, she’s used it! Was it worth the depression and pain to get to this point? Hell no, if you can work things out with your twin, I’d recommend you do so.

    What happened to the strange but cute girl I met? I don’t believe this mental side to you was buried particularly deeply, if others around you accept it and go ‘oh, what a card’. Jesus Christ.

    Our lives have moved in parallel. Yes, we have the same number of letters in our first and last names. Actually, we have the same number of syllables in one of them.

    I hope she was ‘karmic’. There’s a girl I’ve started talking to, who is eerily tapped into us (she goes to Imperial-look her up.) so this might just be quantum entanglement gone wild.

    I’ve experienced most twin things, dreams, telepathy, feeling her emotions, the powerful sexual connection. Our experience- and I say ‘our’ loosely, we haven’t talked in almost 3 years-seems to be deeper than a lot out there. I think she already knows.

    If she wants to make contact, she would have to write a big letter acknowledging the pain she’s caused, explaining her irrational behaviour and apologise for it.

    TF in waiting, you are an excellent chaser. Yep, if you are twins he has to work through those issues by himself. If you push it, he will yield to his emotions and run, probably to his ‘safe’ ex.

    I like the locked room idea! Destroy each other, then leave. Much quicker resolution either way.

    Have you heard of gold ray twin flames? Mel offers a reading service, if you want a second opinion.

    Love. Allen.

    • I’m actually more of a “stayer” than a chaser. I have never been one to chase men. You understand that twinflame relationships are mostly about spiritual growth, don’t you? I understand that times of separation are for just that purpose. I have been spiritual for many years, so I think that has helped me a great deal with this situation. Don’t get me wrong……it has still been very hard and painful at times. The intensity of my feelings and longing to be with him have been torturous, but lately it seems I have become numb about the whole thing. I think I’ve just remained so hopeful for so long that I needed a break from it all because I thought we would be together soon, but now I’m not so sure.

      No, I would not tell him about the twin thing……he’s scared enough already lol. Although it would help him to understand what’s happening, I don’t think that he’s spiritual enough to grasp it all and it would just overwhelm him all the more and he would be gone forever. What makes you say….”He’s scurred! He likes you!”?

      What did you mean by “My only advise is find a method that works for you and use it consistently.”…..a method for what?

      What do you mean by….”she goes to Imperial-look her up.”…..what is Imperial?

      I do not dream of him very often……that I remember anyways. Not sure about the telepathy…’s not like we have mental conversations, but I think we both know intuitively that there’s something very special going on between us…..and I seem to be able to feel his energy/essence whenever I want (for the most part). Not sure if I feel his emotions, but as I said before…..I do feel when he is thinking about me. The sexual connection……oh yeah lol……I’m rather thankful that I have become numb now to dull that. Did you ever feel like you were obsessed with your twin? That’s how I have been since I recognized him as my soulmate/tf in the summer. Could barely concentrate on anything else and have been neglecting myself and my own needs…..until this numbness set in. Maybe he’s been ignoring and neglecting me because I have been ignoring and neglecting me, so he is mirroring that back to me. I guess I should consider myself lucky that we’ve been able to maintain some sort of relationship. We have always liked and respected each other very much and I think this whole thing has knocked us both for a loop. You seem kind of bitter??? I’m sorry you’ve had such a painful experience. What do you mean when you say “I think she already knows.”…..knows what?

      Yes I am aware of the gold ray twins. I have seen some of their videos, but find Mel rather dull to listen to lol. I did not know that he offers a reading service. Have you had a reading with him? I have spoken to endless psychics online who have generally confirmed his feelings for me and say that he wants to be with me, except for the odd one that says opposite, and they contradict each other on certain issues so I generally just end up more confused speaking with them and don’t know what to believe. I have basically kept it up just to have someone to talk to about this, so I am grateful now to be talking to you about it. Guess I should have seeked out a forum sooner and save all the money I have spent on psychics lol. Truth is……I won’t really know the truth about anything until/unless I get the opportunity to talk to him about it. That’s the hardest part for me, I think……the fact that we’ve never even admitted our feelings verbally or talked about it. Were you actually in a relationship with yours? For how long?

      Thanks. xo

      P.S. Sorry if this post is not organized very well…..the thoughts just keep coming, you know lol.

      • Hi there–
        I just recently found out about this situation and believe I have been in it. I never was open with my TF (he’s the runner), and always expressed my hurt through anger. I recently decided to come clean with my feelings, if nothing else to put it behind me and not have to deal with my “what-ifs”. I wrote him a long letter about how much I cared about him, what I would expect from him (or anyone for that matter) in a future relationship, etc. His answer did not make me happy, but I received multiple confirmations from the universe that I did the right thing. I got everything out in the open, and can fully focus on myself without wondering if I should have been honest. Amazing feeling. I have no idea if he will ever reach my level of understanding, but I showed him a gift of unconditional love and am giving him my blessing to find his own path. It’s been freeing. Hope this helps.

  14. Hey. Yes, I get this is for growth. I was ‘spiritual’ before we met and would have rather taken a slower path.

    I think (because I experienced this) all his resistance is coming up and shutting him down. That’s why he goes quiet, or will only talk for a bit. Damage limitation.

    I’m writing this as thoughts come to me as well!

    ”What did you mean by ‘My only advise is find a method that works for you and use it consistently.”…..a method for what?”- If it falls to bits and one of you pulls away suddenly, it can be extremely painful. I mean yoga, or a form of meditation, mantras etc

    Imperial- Imperial College London- ha, my ‘soul connection’ visits this site.

    My ‘divine partner’ is a high-functioning sociopath with aspergers. I bet she was a moody and difficult child. She tries to manipulate the situation, but is crap at it. If she feels remorse, she’s able to ignore it.

    I like Mel! I thought he was just putting on a shitty English accent when he channelled John. Nope. I haven’t dealt with psychics.

    Uh, well, we dated for a while. I didn’t tell her we were exclusive, she assumed we were. I kissed a girl (I liked it), her friend saw and that was it.

    Yeah, this is a subject I have not talked to anyone about. Some of my friends drop hints. Ha. I’m think my family are aware. We watched some crime thing at christmas and out of nowhere dad goes ‘I bet it was TWINS. It was probably TWINS.’ lol.

  15. I am deep in depression to the point that I keep getting sick with mild colds etc. I am normally very healthy.

    I met my twin flame I am sure of it. I have had karmic relationships before this one but this person was unlike any other alive. Our energies are the same and I feel …the best feeling when I’m alone with him, it’s the absence of fear! when I first observed him talk, I knew. It was clear as day. We have known each other since the beginning. Just a feeling and at the time I didn’t know anything about this stuff. I was very spiritual, had starting becoming aware of energies and spiritually awakening, in a way I had never been more ready to recognize him for who he was.
    I still thank the universe for the introduction and short union, I’ve never felt so alive.
    Our relationship was 3 months and then he broke it because “things were happening so fast” and I got “too attached” he was leaving for the best job of his career which he’s had work like crazy for yrs to get in a huge new city in a nearby country but had never told me before he didn’t want anything serious with me and never wanted long distance until the breakup. I asked if it could work if I visited him sometimes and he said no.
    I think he’s running from the intensity. He is extremely stubborn, young, career obsessed, and had been hurt in all his previous relationships. Maybe I just have to wait n watch him go thru more karmic relationships n grow myself. There is a lot o change and growing I still have to do. I’m too much of a dreamer and I need to be more focused on my career and life instead of thinking I should ask if I can find a job in his new city. Or should I just let him live his path. Which I keep thinking of doing but then think it’s crazy because he didn’t want me to visit. What should I do ??

  16. Have any of the chasers/stayers ever made the decision to cut contact with the runner? Has anyone ever done it, and what was the result? Thanks.

    • We haven’t kept contact for a half year. I felt devastated, like a part of me was missing. Then I started having dreams with him, so I re-connected with him. Turned out we had mutual dreams. Recently I wanted to break contact again, he fought against it… I admit there’s no point in forcing a break, because you can stop keeping contact but you can’t cut off the connection just like that… love remains and the growing distance wouldn1t help… but that’s just how I live it.

    • I have done it myself… he seems happy with it… lol

  17. Hi,

    I am the chaser and I have been separated from my twin flame (runner) for past 10 yrs. We are not in touch since then. But since last 5 years I am getting strong signs which are all leading to the runner. I am not sure as to what to do in this situation. I get signs and messages in music, repeated numbers like 111 ( see triple numbers and combinations), angel feathers, repeated symbols and all other possible things which remind me of my runner. I am sure it is about my runner as I get a strong sure and clear inner knowing that the runner is back but I am not able to do anything about it. I feel stuck and I don’t have the confidence take action.

    What do I do in such a case? I am scared to approach and follow the signs I am getting as our breakup was very painful because it was a twin flame relationship which I realized many years after our breakup.

    Can you please help me how be sure about this and what is to be done now?

    – Pam

  18. I’m extremely confused… I don’t know whether I’m the chaser or runner… cause I was very emotionally distant at first… and I don’t know it’s all confusing… I just need her… all I can say is it feels right deep inside my soul….

    • Very similar to me, I have always considered myself the chaser, but it seems apparent now that we are both runners! I have no courage to approach him as I am scared of rejection. The last time we saw each other was six months ago, and we gave each other a little hug, and I said that I was afraid there was a big misunderstanding. He had blocked me from Facebook and his whole family turned against me. I never knew what I was supposed to have done to deserve all the hate. He’s a spiritual person, but he is unwell, and his disability affects his judgments, and his family are over protective of him. I just sent him a birthday card with a nice message, but he’ll only ignore it. I still wake up feeling him next to me, it’s uncanny he’s been gone two years!

  19. I’m going through this phase .I followed no contact rule for 21 days in a hope that I would get him back but that didn’t happen.Does my twinflame love me is what my mind question’s.Please help me to get through this pain.How to heal myself to get my twinflames back? Please suggest me

    • I thought for 2 years that I knew for sure who my twin flame was…….totally convinced……..all the synchs were there…….so much fit. After nothing but distance and more distance from him, I started to let go of him at the beginning of this year after waiting for him for 4 years. Been on my own for 7 years and would really like someone special in my life.

      At that point another man entered my life……23 years younger, engaged and totally beautiful!!! He seemed drawn to me right from the start and started to show his interest and worked hard at getting my attention. He was pursuing me. I didn’t take it seriously because he was engaged and so young……and I had no idea why he would be interested in me…….a middle-aged, overweight woman who rarely wears makeup anymore and doesn’t dress particularly stylish…….I didn’t trust his interest or intentions.

      He persevered and won me over and we had a few blissful days of connection at work…….nothing physical, but a lot of flirting, laughing and talking. It was so easy and comfortable…….looking in his eyes was so comfortable. It was intense and I felt giddy, like a school girl.

      Well, it didn’t take long for the fears and morality to kick in. I started avoiding him. It was too hard to be near him, wanting more and knowing that I couldn’t have more because he was not free. We tried to connect again after a few weeks, but it was tense and awkward and just not the same as it was at first. Then for 3 months we worked opposite shifts so it was easy to avoid each other. I thought he might seek me out, but he never did. I would catch glimpses of him here and there as he was leaving. He never left my thoughts for the entire 3 months. He got married in July. I assumed he had forgotten about me and would go on with his new life with his new wife.

      As fate (or destiny) would have it, in August we were put back on the same shift (evenings). It wasn’t long before he started trying to reconnect with me. I thwarted his attempts and continued to avoid him as much as possible and keep a healthy distance between us…….even though that was the last thing I wanted to do (I was secretly thrilled he still wanted to connect with me, but felt it would be a mistake).

      We have had a few moments of contact since then, but things are still very awkward and unsettled between us. We speak (sometimes), but keep it very casual. The stages of connection and separation seem to be going much quicker this time around. I don’t know if this second guy is my real twin, or what, but I know that my feelings for and connection with the first guy are pretty much totally gone. It kind of makes sense that guy #2 could be my twin because of the age difference and the marriage, neither of which were obstacles with the first guy. Also his instant attraction to me and the hold he has on me now. Both men look like me and I have been told I have a soul connection with both. Maybe guy #1 was a catalyst…….something I could never accept at one point on this journey. I never ever thought I would have such intense feelings for anyone else the way I did for guy #1…….until guy #2 came along.

      The moral of my story……..don’t hold out for one particular person that you believe is your twin flame. If they are being distant, involved with someone else, or not with you for whatever reason…….you can wait a short while, but then move on and be open to what the universe brings you…….to other possibilities. Realize that there is nothing you have to heal within yourself to be worthy of love. You are worthy now. If your twin flame is about unconditional love then they should love you right now, as you are. If not, if my twin, or the universe, or whomever requires me to be perfect and whole before being worthy of love, then I don’t need my twin flame.

      These are just some realizations I have come to this year. I believe it’s part of the journey and you will reach that point if/when it is time for you to reach it. I don’t know if guy #2 is my “one”, but I know that I am not going to wait around for him……I am staying open to other possibilities as well. If he wants me…….he’s gonna have to come and get me. If not……I’m moving on.

      Just something to think about, and you may not be ready to hear it and that’s okay. It’s just where I am currently at…….I will not wait for another men ever again……..certainly not for 4 years, when he’s giving me nothing but silence and distance……twin flame or no twin flame……I’m worth more than that!!!!!

  20. How do twin flames reunite?

    I mean the final reunion stage. What happens when the runner returns back to the chaser? How will you know? What signs to look for?

    Has anyone experience this? How did it happen?

    Please help me as I am in this stage.

    • How can you not know? If your twin returns, it mirrors your renewed and newly healthy relationship with your Self. If this happens, it is because you are ready.

  21. Thank you so much for responding soon. You have cleared my doubts.

    I am experiencing all kinds of signs since a long time which remind me of my twin flame. The signs keep on telling me I have to go to my twin and he is waiting for me. I was confused and doubting myself if really what I was sensing is true. I had a sure inner knowing from the signs presented that my twin flame is back. But since I was doubting so much I was not able to trust the signs and my inner knowing.

    Ok so now I know my twin flame is really back. I am very scared to approach him. We are not in touch for a very long time.

    Just wondering what do do now….

  22. I am not a spiritual authority of any kind, all I can do is share my own personal experience. From my own point of view, your external relationship with your twin reflects your inner masculine-feminine relationship within yourself. The “outer” will fix itself as an eternal reflection of the “inner” world. So, to your question: “What to do now”, I wouldn’t push anything, wouldn’t “approach” him, I mean physically. Let the Universe take care of that. If it has to happen, it WILL happen, whether you like it or not! The only wise thing to do right now is to work on this inner self. You say you are scared to approach him. Try to seriously dig in and find out the reason of the fear. This is where the real effective work takes place. And, the more harmony your create in the inside, the more harmonious your relationship with your twin will be in the concrete world! Work on yourself first, and the rest will take care of itself.

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